Can the MFR Experts Save Us From the Doom of a Black Hole

I read this article Asking a Judge to Save the World, and Maybe a Whole Lot More in the NY Times today and one of my immediate rather Freudian Stream of Consciousness thoughts was that perhaps we should send in a few of the John F. Barnes Myofascial Release experts in as a safety measure since apparently they have developed an ability to manipulate the quantum properties of matter.  Just a tongue in cheek thought.